Forever and Always
by filesfreak4life
Summary: Kate Beckett never thought she would get happily ever after... and when she gets a phone call late one evening, she realizes she may have been right all along. Caskett Angst...
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: All right… I've written for other shows and this is my latest obsession, so here I am! I was VERY inspired by a fan video on youTube called "Castle : Forever and Always" by atem schnapper. If you haven't seen it you should check it out. Words in bold are the song by Parachute entitled "Forever and Always" and words in italics are flashbacks for Beckett. I hope you enjoy it… and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer… I don't own 'em… I wish I did… but I don't!

**She's sitting at the table, the hours get later**

**He was supposed to be here.**

**She's sure he would have called.**

Everything looks perfect… just the way she thought about it in her head when she hatched the plan earlier this week. He had book obligations for the newest Nikki Heat, so he hadn't been around the precinct much in the past few weeks. If she was being honest, he hadn't been around anywhere much in the past few weeks. They took the plunge and officially moved her in a few months ago, after he proposed and everything was falling into place. It wasn't at all what she had expected out of her life… she didn't think that she would actually get the happy ending that everyone else strived for. He waltzed in and annoyed the crap out of her when they first met, regardless of the fact that yes, she was a member of his fan club. They still laugh about that whole thing, and she finally admitted to him about a year ago that his books were what got her through her mother's death years ago.

Tonight, though, was something entirely different, but entirely about the happy ending that she was holding on to with both arms. She lets a small smile creep over her features as she sits down at the table and checks her watch. Her thoughts had gotten away from her, because she realizes that he is an hour late for their plans. The hour gets to her then, and stifling a yawn, she thinks that maybe she should call him.

Picking up her cell, she selects him from her favorites list and it goes straight to voice mail.

"Hey, Castle. It's me… I'm waiting here for our dinner date and everything is ready, but you aren't here. I understand if Paula is keeping you a bit later, but can you give me a call and let me know where you are? You usually call if you're going to be this late… You better not be autographing any chests, Mr. Castle… or Mrs. C to be is going to come after you with her gun…I love you." She says, and hits the end button with a laugh.

That's when she notices her subconscious move, and lets her smile grow even wider as she moves to double check the dinner she made for him.

**She waits a little longer.**

**There's no one in the driveway**

**No one's said they've seen him**

**Why, is something wrong?**

Realizing that he may be a little longer, she curls up with the latest of his novels and remembers a conversation they had when he was releasing it.

"_You know, Castle… I was thinking, and don't you think it's weird to write Nikki Heat and Jameson Rook now that we're together?"_

_He stops to think for a moment before answering, "Why would you think that?"_

"_I don't know… you and me… them… I know the parallels…"_

"_Yeah, I do too… that's why I write them, and that's why I'll continue to write them…"_

"_So you aren't going to kill Nikki Heat off like you did Derrek Storm?"_

"_Do you think I'm ever going to stop loving you, Katherine Beckett?"_

_Her eyebrows knit together in confusion for a moment before she asks, "What does that have to do with you stopping loving me?"_

_For that response, he kisses her, long and slow. She could actually feel the love pouring out of him with the kiss. "My dear Kate… the first novel I wrote was because I was inspired by you. The rest weren't for money… weren't for the job."_

"_Then what were they?"_

"_My love letters to you… Yes, I know that they could be gruesome at times, and sometimes you hated what I did with Nikki Heat, but they were all just for you. It was the dedication of _Heat Wave_ that made me realize it…"_

"_To the Extraordinary KB?"_

"_I always write my dedication last… usually right before I send it to be printed. It was after that first book that I knew that I would always write them for you."_

_She couldn't keep the tear from slipping down her cheek at his words. To be that loved was something she feared she would never be a part of, and here he was, parading his love for her on the NY Times bestseller list for all to see._

"_I love you, Castle…"_

"_I'm glad… seeing as how you agreed to marry me…"_

This time when she looked at the clock, she was worried. He was supposed to be here, so she calls down to the doorman.

"Mr. Castle?" the tinny voice answers from the intercom.

"It's Miss Beckett, Bobby… I was wondering if you could check to see if Rick's car is here yet?"

"Anxious for your fiancé to get home?" he says with a laugh.

"He was supposed to be home a few hours ago, so I thought I would see if he was sitting in his car on the phone. It went straight to voice mail and sometimes he does that."

"I'll go check."

She paces for a few minutes when she is startled by the buzz, "Miss Beckett?"

"Yes?"

"His car isn't here, ma'am. Do you need me to do anything?"

"No, Bobby, but thank you for looking."

It's then that she decides that maybe she should give Paula a call to see if they are still at the event he was scheduled to do.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Paula? It's Kate Beckett…"

"Ah, the notorious Nikki Heat in the flesh."

"I don't… I don't have time for our normal introduction."

"Why, is something wrong?"

"Can you tell me what time Rick is going to be home? We sort of had plans this evening, and he thought he was getting out early."

"He did. He left hours ago… around 7:00 because he said he had dinner plans with you."

"What?"

"I saw him get in his car myself. Have you tried his cell?"

"It went straight to voice mail."

"I don't know what to say, Kate. I know he left."

"Thank you."

"Please call me when he gets home… let me know that he's okay?"

"I will. I'm sure there's an explanation."

**She looks back to the window**

**Suddenly the phone rings**

**A voice says something's happened**

**That she should come right now**

She puts the phone down, thinking about her next steps as her stomach churns with thought and something else entirely. Where could he be? She steps over to the windows of their living room, looking out on the city she swore to protect. She's thinking about next steps to find him when the ringing of her phone startles her. When she sees a number she doesn't recognize, her mind races for a moment.

"Beckett."

"Is this Katherine Beckett?"

"This is, can I help you."

"I have you listed as the main emergency contact for Richard Castle?"

"Where… um… why are…" she stammers for a moment before collecting herself the way she knows she can. "Where is he?"

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but something's happened, and I think it would be best if you came down to the hospital."

"Which hospital?"

"Presbyterian."

"I'll be right there." She says as she shakily puts the phone down.

She should call Alexis and Martha, but thinks twice about it. She needs to know the situation before she calls in the cavalry. Richard Castle has always gotten himself into trouble, so he very well could have fallen and broken his leg on a curb somewhere. Yes… she can't think about anything else, because she is the one who has the dangerous job… he worries about her… she has nothing to worry about.

Regardless of those thoughts, she clutches her stomach and runs to the master bathroom to release everything she ate today.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Positive reaction to this one, especially since I've never written Castle fic before... I hope you got a chance to check out the video and/or listen to the song, cause it's a beautiful ballad... Anyways... on with the fic, and if you like what you read, send me a review or message if you would like!_

_Disclaimer again: I would have a WAY cooler car if I owned them._

**Her mind goes to December.**

**She thinks of when he asked her.**

**He bent down on his knee first.**

When she gets out of the bathroom, she calls down to Bobby again, asking him to get her a car as soon as possible. She knows that she can't drive herself to the hospital with the dizzying thoughts in her mind. He tells her that she should make her way downstairs and he'll figure everything out for her.

When she grabs her coat and purse, her eye catches on the sparkling diamond she wore on her left hand. She had been self conscious about wearing the ring after a few days of having it, so she put it on a necklace next to her mother's ring. It wasn't until her dad mentioned something about it that she realized she wanted it on display for everyone to see. She wanted the girlish indulgence of people realizing that she was engaged. Engaged to Richard Castle.

"_So, you're happy about this?" he asks, rubbing circles on her shoulder as she is draped over his chest after they celebrated their engagement._

"_Honestly, I don't know how I feel about any of this…"_

_He starts to say something, but she puts a few fingers to his lips to stop his protest. "Not like that… I mean… God… how do I say this without sounding stupid…" she pauses for a moment, "Castle, I love you… I have never felt like this before, and I know that it is right and it is true. At the same time, I'm so scared about going to D.C. and everything that comes with this."_

_He glances to the ring on her finger and smiles for a moment._

Her thoughts are interrupted as the elevator dings for the lobby and Bobby is escorting her to the waiting car.

"Thank you."

"I hope everything's okay Miss Beckett." He says, shutting the door behind her.

She hopes so too.

On her way, he mind is swirling in a million different directions, but her eyes come to rest on her left hand again… its placement not going unnoticed by her.

**And he said "I want you forever, forever and always,**

**Through the good and the bad and the ugly,**

**We'll grow old together forever and always."**

_He smiles at her for a while before he can find the words that he wants to say to her. "Kate, I want every single part of this… always. You are my absolute forever, and I don't know how to convince you that this Is going to work. We have been through the best of times, the worst of times… God Kate, we've almost died more times than I can count on both my hands, but we're here. Everything that the two of us have experienced in this lifetime has led us right here… to this moment. You and I have a long future together, growing old together, and loving each other as long as time will allow."_

_She was always amazed by his love for her, and numerous times throughout their relationship she has questioned how he could love her in that way. Then he says these things to her and it all makes sense._

"_Richard Castle, you have a way with words… did you know that?" she says, kissing him before settling back down in her spot._

"_With my muse by my side at all hours now, I can't help it." He says, which earns him a smack from his bride to be. "What was that for?"_

"_I distinctly remember telling you long ago that you needed to stop calling me your muse."_

"_And… as per our long standing traditions… I have chosen to ignore you."_

**She pulls up to the entrance.**

**She walks right to the front desk.**

She smiles to herself at the thoughts, and looks out the window to see the approaching lights of the hospital. Her stomach protests again as she shifts in her seat.

When the driver gets out to let her out, she stands on shaky limbs, looking to him for a question.

"Don't worry about it Miss Beckett. The arrangement we have with Mr. Castle applies to you as well. No need to pay or tip."

"Thank you." She says, giving him a nod and turning towards the entrance.

She thinks for a moment about the way she steels herself before going into an interrogation, and does the same here. She won't be shaken by this… especially because she doesn't know exactly what this is.

Making her way through the emergency doors, she walks over to a desk that is occupied by a short African-American woman.

"Can I help you?" the woman says, not looking up from her computer.

"Yes, I just received a call from the hospital because my fiancé was brought in. They didn't give me any details."

The woman still doesn't acknowledge Kate with a glance when she replies, "We can't give details on the phone."

"I understand that, now can you point me in the direction of my fiancé?"

"Hold on for a moment." She says in a monotone that finally grates Kate's nerves to the point of no return.

She slams her fists down on the counter, "Listen! I don't know what it is that has you so engrossed on that computer, but the last time I checked, receptionists were supposed to receive customers and guests. You gave me snipped answers and didn't even bother to look up at me when you spoke. If you had, which you've finally done now, you would have seen the very scared face of a woman who got a call twenty minutes ago telling her to come to the hospital because something happened to her fiancé. Maybe that would have made you realize that you yourself have loved ones who could be in the same situation at some point and you would need someone to be compassionate and help you find your loved one. So please… can you tell me where I can find my fiancé?"

The woman opens and closes her mouth for a moment before flushing a bit with embarrassment at the situation. "I… I'm sorry ma'am… what is his name?"

"Richard Castle."

"Let me look… oh… um…." The woman looks around and spots someone else, calling them over to cover her spot. "Let me take you where you need to go."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Happy American Thanksgiving! Hope you enjoy this next small chapter in the story... it's becoming quite the fun fic for me to write, so thanks for the positive feedback. Review if you would like!**

**Disclaimer: I wouldn't be renting if I owned 'em.**

**...**

**They lead her down a million halls, a maze that's never ending.**

The hallway is never ending as she follows the shorter woman, her heart rate picking up at the pace they are walking. He is somewhere in this hospital in a condition she has absolutely no clue about.

They pass several different reception areas for various ailments and specialties, none of which the receptionist seems keen on stopping in front of. They turn this way and that and she now knows that she would never be able to find her way back to that initial place.

When they stop, she takes in her surroundings as the woman goes to the desk to tell them who she is. Surgical waiting room. That's what it says on the wall above the desk, and then it seems everything goes in slow motion.

"Excuse me, Miss…"

"Beckett… Kate Beckett. Where's Castle?"

"He was actually just moved to another room, so the doctor will be out shortly to explain what happened. If you can just wait out here for a moment, they'll be right with you."

"He's alive?" she says, trying to read into what the woman had said.

"I'll let the doctor tell you all the details."

She sits, waiting for someone to come out of the double doors and speak to her. She wants someone with her at that moment, but still hesitates to call anyone for fear of worrying them too much to soon. Kate Beckett against the world… that's how she liked to face everything… alone. Or with him…

_When she arrived, the flowers were sitting on her desk waiting for her, a to go cup was beside them, and she read the short note that accompanied both._

"_I know that today is one of those days, Kate. I know that you like to deal with it on your own, but I want you to know that I'm here when you need me, and I'm ready to face every single moment with you… the good and the bad… the past and the future. I'm picking you up for lunch at noon, so be ready, because today isn't going to be a sad day for you Katherine Beckett… I won't let it be. – RC"_

_It was the anniversary of her mother's death, and he knew. He knew that she usually dealt with the day in her own way… on her own. That wall that she built up around her heart though… around the memory of her mother's death and everything surrounding it… it had come down because of him. He chipped away at every little piece of it until it was nothing but dust at her feet. If she ever tried to rebuild even a piece of it, like she would have today, he would spend the time shaking the foundation under her to keep it from taking hold._

_She looks at the mound of paperwork on her desk and checks the clock as well. She was most often the first person in the precinct, so slipping out before Gates came in was something she could easily get away with. Grabbing the flowers and the coffee, she made her way to the elevator, pulling out her phone._

"_Castle."_

"_Hey Castle… you wanna play hooky today?"_

"_Kate?"_

"_I'm on my way over… we're going skating."_

"_Are you sure?" he asks, knowing that was a pastime she shared with her mother._

"_An opportunity to watch you fall on your ass repeatedly… yes, I'm sure. Besides, I feel like she's watching me today, you know… making sure that I'm okay. I think that she would love nothing more than to see the two of us together on the ice."_

"_I love you."_

"_You have no way of understanding how much I love you Richard Castle… absolutely no idea."_

"Miss Beckett?"

She snaps out of her thoughts when she hears someone calling out to her, and her expression goes blank when she sees the blue scrubs standing in front of her.

**They talk about what happened, but she can barely hear them.**

"Where is he? What happened?"

"He was in a car accident, Miss Beckett… he was pinned in the driver's side, but they were able to get him out. He had a collapsed lung on one side and some internal injuries that took us a bit to find. We believe that we found everything, but the next few hours and days will tell us if there is anything we missed. There appears to be a lot of external bruising, so we are keeping close watch on the surrounding areas. He lost a lot of blood, but he fought through it."

She lets all of it sink in… the accident… pinned in the car… the internal injuries… it's all too much for her to picture in her mind, and she clutches a hand to her stomach as she sits back in the chair she was in before.

"When can I see him?"

"They are moving him right now… I want you to be prepared for what you're going to see though. There are lots of monitors and tubes and wires connected, and when we move him, we're going to take out the breathing tube. Hopefully he will be able to breathe on his own, but we'll have to see what happens when I go in there. He should wake up in the next few hours or so, so don't be alarmed if he doesn't respond to you right away."

"Can he have other visitors? I want to call his mother and daughter." She asks, knowing that now was the time that they needed to be here.

"It can only be one at a time right now so we can more closely monitor him, but they are certainly welcome. I'll have them take you back when we have him settled." He says, nodding and walking away before being called back.

"Doctor?"

"Yes?" he says turning.

"He's going to be okay, right?" she asks with tears still in her eyes and a shaky voice.

"As I said… the next few hours and days are going to tell us if there was anything we missed."

She nods, telling him thank you before letting out a shaky breath and pulling out her phone.

"Katherine?"

"Martha, hi."

"I thought you and Richard had a big dinner date tonight, darling. Is something the matter?"

"I um… I need you to call Alexis and I need the two of you to meet me down at Presbyterian Hospital. Rick was in an accident… there was surgery involved… I…" she falters then, finally having to put into words what happened getting the best of her.

"Is he going to be okay?" Martha asks with the same shaky voice.

"They say he'll be fine… I'm just."

"I know dear… we'll be there as soon as we can."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Loving the responses still... I hope you're all enjoying this little fic. I'm a huge family and romance fan, so that's what I usually tend to write, so I'm glad that you are all enjoying it! Review if you would like!**

**...**

**She tries to keep a straight face as she walks into the room.**

When they came to get here, she could barely think straight let alone walk with any sort of purpose. She wanted to see him so bad, but at the same time, she wasn't completely prepared for what she saw next, a broken Castle.

"There's a chair right next to the bed that you can sit in, and it would be good for you to speak to him while we're trying to get him out of the anesthesia. We don't want him to fight anything when he's coming out. Watch the tubes and wires and you should be fine."

"Thank you…"

"Don't hesitate to press the call button for anything, okay?"

She nods as she makes her way to the chair beside him, trying to keep herself from crying because once she breaks down, which she rarely let's herself do, it isn't going to stop anytime soon.

"_Hey Kate?"_

"_Yeah?" she says almost distracted by the thoughts running through her head._

"_Talk to me." He says simply, causing her to look up at him from her spot laying agains his chest on the couch._

_She doesn't remember when this routine started, but they came home after every case solved and took these positions. It didn't have to be a hard case in particular, but they always needed to unwind. He would lay down on the couch with his arms open and she would just lean up against him, resting her head against his chest and relishing in his warmth._

_This case had been absolutely terrible though, a little girl murdered by her father. It turned out that he did it because he didn't want his ex-wife to have custody… didn't want her happy._

"_I just… there are times that I sit down and actually think about what I'm doing for a living and wonder if I'm not a monster for not being effected by all this."_

"_But you are…"_

"_Well, I know, but… God, Castle, how can a person do this?"_

"_I don't know Kate, but what is more important is that you stopped him from ever being able to do it again."_

"_I know that, but I just keep seeing her face." She says, closing her eyes as the image comes to her again._

"_Allison?" he asks, mentioning the little girl that was found in an alley three blocks from her elementary school suffocated to death._

"_no… her mother. Yes, the little girl's death was hard, but to see her mother's reaction, to know that she won't ever see her little girl again, all because her ex husband was a psycho… Did you know that he hit her? He actually hit the woman and that's why she left with the daughter. He started hitting her, so she got away from all of it. Then he kills the little girl to get back at her… and her poor mother didn't do anything to deserve any of this… I can't do that…" she says, allowing the tears to fall._

_He is surprised by her actions and choice of words because even though they have been together for a while, she hasn't really broken down in front of him before. The wall came down, but she was still hesitant to show all her cards, even to the man she loves._

"_You can't do what?"_

"_I can't bring a child into the world knowing that there are people like this out there…"_

"_Are you…?" he says, his eyes going wide in surprise._

_She lets a smile come to her face then, through the tears, shaking her head._

"_Oh… then why?"_

"_because I want that some day, and when I saw that little girl's body and I saw her mother's reaction, I just… it made me sick."_

"_Kate, the world sucks, and the only thing that we can do is help make it better… you help make it better by doing what you do. You stand for the victims each day, and that's something that I love about you. However, you have to think smaller too, because one of my goals, I know, is to make your world a little better too… the coffee, the little love notes, the small kisses to wake you up in the morning… we would do that for any child we had, you know? The outside world might suck, but we would combat that with making the small world around him or her filled with everything good we can."_

"_I love you." She says, burying her face in his chest and crying a little more for the victim and her mother._

At the memory, she looks down, and the tears start to fall even more. Now wasn't the time for a break down. She had done that, and right now she felt that the world absolutely sucked. It was about to suck a little bit more.

"Detective Beckett?"

The voice, rocked her back into this world, and when she looked up, she saw the familiar uniform of an NYPD officer staring her in the face.

"Yes? I, um… I don't understand." She says, standing up quickly, glancing at Castle.

"It's okay Detective. When we realized who this was and we realized who he was engaged to, we thought that you would be the best person to relay this information to."

Her face is the picture of confusion when she asks what they came to tell her.

"It was a DUI." The officer says, and her heart skips a beat.

"Castle? No… he wouldn't get behind the wheel of…"

"No, Ma'am, the other vehicle's driver was under the influence." The officer says quickly, which causes her to let out a long breath of relief. "We felt that you had the right to know."

"Did you arrest the guy?"

"They fled the scene, but with the help of traffic cams, we were able to get the son of a bitch. He'll be charged with the DUI, fleeing the scene of the crime, and… uh…"

"I know… you have to wait for the other charge."

"I hope he doesn't get charged with manslaughter ma'am, but I wish he could get that amount of time." He says, glancing at Castle, "How is he?"

"He's doing well, but we won't really know how well for a few hours, or even days."

"I hope that everything works out then."

"Keep me updated LT."

"I will, ma'am." He says, ducking out of the room, which left the opening for Martha and Alexis to appear in the doorway.

"Kate?" Alexis says, running to her and wrapping her arms around her before looking over at her father and burying her head in Kate's shoulder to cry.

The two had a good relationship, but this was the first time that Kate thought that the girl may need her more than she led on.

"What were the officers doing here?" Martha asks, as Kate strokes the hair of the younger redhead.

"Apparently it was a hit and run with at DUI. The guy in the other car was drunk, but they got him."

"That gives me a little bit of relief, but how is he?" she says, moving toward his bed and smoothing a piece of hair from his face.

Alexis had calmed down a bit, turning out of Kate's embrace to join the conversation, but still holding onto her hand. "Is he going to be okay?"

"The doctor said that he had a lot of internal injuries, but feels like they caught everything. He lost a lot of blood, and it might take him a while to get out of the fog of anesthesia. So right now, it's a waiting game."

"Okay… so we wait." Alexis says, moving to sit down at the foot of her father's bed.

Kate and Martha nod, and Kate takes the spot next to him.

**She sits by his bedside, holds his hand too tight.**

All three women fell asleep after a few hours of watching the steady breathing and the steady beep of his heart rate. Kate's hand never left his though, holding on tight as she dreamt of all the things they still had to do.

"Too tight." She is awoken by a raspy whisper near her ear.

"hmmm…" she looks up. "Castle?" she whispers, looking up to see him smiling down at her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Sometimes I just love writing fanfic and picturing everything in my head just like it plays out on the screen. I can literally picture very moment and every facial expression... I can hear the way they say the dialogue and I just love doing it. Also... Review if you totally called it before this chapter... you'll know what I'm talking about when it happens! hehe...**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Castle, I wouldn't have credit card debt...**

"Kate… what happened?" he asks in a voice that only she can hear, as he watches the tears fall down her face.

"You were in an accident, Rick. There was a drunk driver and we… God… we almost lost you."

He takes a moment to look at his surroundings. Alexis is sleeping in a chair by the foot of his bed, and he sees his mother's coat on the chair next to that.

"Your mom must have gotten up to get something to eat." She says, swiping at the tears on her face.

"Kate, I'm okay…" he says quietly, not wanting to wake his daughter just yet. "I'm sorry I missed our dinner date."

At this statement, fresh tears make their way down Kate's face, and she allows herself the indulgence of resting her head near his chest once more.

"I told you that you weren't ever going to lose me Kate…"

"It's so much more than that now, Rick… how… you don't understand."

He looks at her in confusion because he's never seen her quite this shaken or unable to form her thoughts.

"Have I been out longer than I think I have?"

She smiles then, knowing that all she was doing was confusing the poor man.

"No… it's just… you put a wrench in my plan. When I got that call… everything just stopped and all I could think of was what you were… what we were going to miss. I had it all planned out."

Now he's even more confused. "Kate, I'm not going to miss anything."

"I know, but I… I thought that you were… I don't think I could do this on my own."

"Kate, you're stronger than you give yourself credit for." He says, shaking his head and closing his eyes… trying to resist falling asleep again, and failing.

The next words out of her mouth weren't said in the way that she had hoped, after a lovely dinner and small talk over candlelight… after letting him discover the small photograph she put under his plate for when she went to clean up after their meal.

"Castle, I'm pregnant."

With a small smile, the last thing she hears him mutter is, "Caskett babies…"

"Katherine?" she hears, and turns quickly towards the source.

"Martha, how long have you been there."

"That depends…" she says, with a smile to the younger woman.

"On?" Kate answers with a question.

"On whether or not you're ready for everyone to know your secret."

"Everyone… no. You and Alexis… yes." She says with a smile.

"Katherine Beckett, while this has been one of the worst days, you have made it simply one of the best… and even though my son fell asleep, I know that he's going to be over the moon about this." Martha says, coming over to her son's bedside to hug her future daughter in law.

"Kate… Gram?"

"Alexis, darling… your father woke up for a few minutes, which is a good sign. Now Katherine is going to tell the nurse about that, while I take you to get some breakfast and we grab some food for your wonderful Stepmother to be…"

"I want to be here when he wakes up again."

"He'll probably be in and out for a while, Lex… go get something to eat." Kate says with an encouraging nod.

**They talk about the kids they're gonna have, and the good life.**

**The house on the hillside where they would stay,**

**Stay there forever, forever and always.**

A few minutes after they left, the nurse came in to take vitals, which woke Castle from his slumber. He didn't say anything except answers to the nurse's questions, which led her to believe that maybe he hadn't heard anything she said… and maybe that was a good thing for right now.

She was wrong of course.

"So what do you think about Jameson or Nicole for middle names… that way what brought us together will be a part of him or her." He says, when the nurse leaves, promising that she will be back in another half hour to check on him again.

When Kate looks up and sees the smile on his face, she knows that Martha was right… he's over the moon. She smiles right back, and leans in to kiss him.

"So you're okay with this?"

"Okay with this… are you kidding me? Kate, I don't think that anything could make me happier than this."

"I was going to tell you tonight at dinner. I got a sonogram the other day, and hid the picture under your plate."

"You already went to the doctor? How long have you known?" he says with a frown.

"I got a positive test a few weeks ago, but then I… uh… I started bleeding a little bit, so I made an appointment."

_All her thoughts were on the baby. How was she going to tell Castle and how was she going to… holy crap… she needed to figure all this out before her got back. She had just started wrapping her idea around this idea of having a baby a few days ago, which was a few days after the word pregnant stared up at her from the pregnancy test she bought while Castle was out of town at a book signing engagement. _

_Her only symptoms thus far were an aversion to anything with chocolate and the fact that she was late. However, she was starting to think that her bladder was starting to be of concern as well, when she had to go to the bathroom every hour on the hour._

_This time, she wasn't prepared for what greeted her._

"_Oh God…" she muttered to herself in the bathroom._

"_Detective Beckett?" she heard from the stall next to her._

"_Captain?" she questioned, knowing that was the voice she heard._

"_Are you all right?"_

"_I uh… Yes… I'm… I'm fine." She says, not even convincing herself._

_After a few minutes, she comes out of the stall to see Captain Gates leaning against the bathroom counter._

"_Ma'am." Kate acknowledges._

"_Detective… I may not be your best friend, but I know when something's wrong. You have the watery eyes of a woman who's about to break down." She says, and Kate glances up at her reflection to note that Gate was right about the unshed tears she didn't realize were there._

"_It's nothing." Kate says, shrugging while internally screaming._

"_Kate." The older woman says, putting her hand on the younger woman's shoulder._

"_I'm… crap… I'm spotting a little… I don't… I uh…"_

"_Are you cramping up at all?"_

_Kate's eyebrows shoot up in surprise for a moment before answering, "No. Nothing like that. I just…"_

"_You start cramping, then I would worry. If not… don't. Make an appointment either way."_

"_Sir?"_

"_Two beautiful girls and one baby that wasn't meant to be, Detective. I think you all sometimes forget that I'm a woman… with a family at that."_

_Kate nods as she watches Gates push the door open, turning back before leaving completely, "and Detective… you tell me officially whenever you're ready… and make that appointment."_

They hadn't been able to see her for a first OB appointment for another few weeks, but she hadn't experienced any cramping or any more bleeding after that. The secret held for a few more weeks and after Castle got home, but only because she needed to be sure everything was okay.

"But you're okay? The baby's okay?" he asks, concerned.

"The baby's fine, Castle. Nine weeks and strong."

The smile grows wider and she can tell he goes somewhere else in his head for a moment.

"Where were you?" she asks with a smile.

"You, me, baby, Alexis, mother… in the Hamptons. You trying to keep our little girl away from the water long enough to put sunscreen on her, and after that, trying to reign in her curls with a braid. God Kate… it's going to be amazing."

"What's going to be amazing?" they hear and turn towards the voice.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: This is a bit longer of an update... thought that you would appreciate that though. Sorry for not updating this week, as it has been a bit crazy in my life... but now... read, review, and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I would own at least two more houses if I owned them...**

Castle looks at Kate, not knowing if she wanted the news known or not known to the rest of the family.

"I was talking to your dad about our ruined plans for the evening."

"Oh… what did you have planned?" Alexis asks, not understanding how Kate could be thinking about ruined plans when her father almost died tonight.

"Dinner, candlelight, showing him my sonogram of the baby…" she says casually, causing Alexis to almost do a double take in her mind.

"Wait… you mean… are you pregnant!?" she asks, her entire face lighting up.

"We are, yeah." Kate says, smiling as the younger Castle comes rushing to her side to give her a hug.

"Wait! Gram… how are you not freaking out about this right now?"

"I may have heard Katherine telling your father when he woke up that first time." She says with a flit of her hand that only Martha can do.

"And you kept it from me while we were downstairs! This is huge news!"

"Not mine to tell."

"Well… regardless… this is awesome." Alexis says with a huge smile on her face, looking at Kate.

"Thanks, Alexis."

**Through the good and the bad and the ugly.**

**we'll grow old together, and always remember whether rich or for poor,**

**or for better, we'll still love each other forever and always**

"_Hey Kate?" Alexis says, knocking on the doorframe that leads into her father's bedroom._

"_Hmmm?" Kate says, still asleep on the bed, sans Castle… who had an early morning meeting on her day off._

"_Detective Beckett?" she asks again with a bit more force._

"_Alexis? What… What's wrong?" she says, sitting up quickly in bed and squaring her shoulders towards the younger girl._

"_I… umm… I need to ask you a favor… and it's a weird one…"_

_Kate takes in the younger Castle, noting the way she has a slight blush and bites her lip nervously. "Whatever you need, Alexis." She says confidently, knowing that she would do anything for the girl. The relationship they had was an odd one, but good. They weren't terribly close, but moving in that direction slowly._

"_Okay… not to offend you or anything like that, but I did ask Gram about this first, and she's busy that day… I don't even think you can get off work for this. Dad always talks about your schedule, and if you're on call…"_

"_Alexis…" Kate says, putting her hand over Alexis' as it rests on the bed beside her own. "Ask me."_

"_Will you come to tea with me?"_

_Kate's brows knit together in confusion, not understanding why Alexis was so concerned about asking her._

"_It's a mother/daughter tea."_

_And there it was._

"_Oh…I… umm… I can clear my schedule, just let me know the date."_

"_Really?"_

"_Of course… why wouldn't I go?"_

"_Well… you aren't… and uh… you and dad… this isn't coming out right." She says, getting frustrated trying to explain herself. "Okay… can I ask you something?"_

"_Sure."_

"_Do you love him?"_

"_Alexis… I'm marrying him… of course I love him."_

"_Well… yeah, but… why?"_

_Kate sits for a moment, never having actually had any kind of conversation with Alexis that was this deep in nature. Again, they had a good relationship, but not one that was this close and personal… not that she didn't want that for the two of them, but because of the nature of her relationship with Castle. So, that's where she began._

"_Your dad was so annoying… that first case we were investigating. I really couldn't stand him because I had this image of Richard Castle in my mind that didn't match the picture."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I don't know if your dad ever told you this, but his books saved me when my mom died. He was who I read and he was one of the reasons that I wanted justice for everyone. And then this man comes in and he isn't at all what I thought he would be… and then it all changed. He brought me coffee, he finished a sentence of mine, he saw through my bullshit, he had enough research to write a million books but stayed, he made my job… more. He changed and I changed, and all of a sudden, he morphed into this person that I wanted next to me through all the crap, through the joy, through all the ugly that the world threw at me. Our thing was always… I think that was us saying 'I love you' without actually uttering the word, and for the first time in my life, I knew that someone meant always. He would always have my back, he would always search for me, he would always be there… so… I love him."_

"_Kate… that's why I want you to come with me. I asked Gram because, Gram was like a mother to me growing up later in life… and then my thoughts went to you. I'm old enough to understand my dad and my mom. She wasn't there for me… which I know is terrible of me to complain about because of what happened to your mom, but for me that's the truth. I know that I acted like a brat when I came back, and I know that I told my dad I was upset about the engagement… but I'm not… well… not really. God, this makes me such a spoiled brat."_

"_Alexis, I love you, but I'm not a talking in circles person… you need to just put it out there."_

"_This is the first time that I feel like I could be replaced… or not replaced, but… you aren't leaving. You guys are going to get married and have babies and have this perfect ending, and I'm just worried that I'm not included in that for you. So I want you to go with me to the mother/daughter tea because I want you to understand that I care about who you are to me… and who I want you to be to me. Cause I need it. I love my dad and he has done a great job being a great dad, but I need something else, and I wanted you to understand that I… I want it to be you… because I know you aren't leaving."_

_That is when it hit Kate that this young woman had held a lot in for a lot of time. Her detective's ear heard more than what was said. She felt abandoned by the women in Castle's life. Her own mother left them and from what she understood of Castle's second marriage, Gina was more interested in Castle than in Alexis._

"_I'm here… and the tea sounds wonderful… but, Alexis?... No pressure."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I mean that I will be whatever you need me to be… a friend that you can talk to, another adult to ask advice from, or more than that. Whatever you need. We aren't just going to magically be that to each other, just like Castle and I didn't start off as what we are now. You just have to know that I love you, and I'm here for you."_

"_Thanks Kate…" she says with a smile, squeezing the hand of the older woman before starting to walk out of the room._

"_Oh, and Lex?"_

_Alexis turns with a smile._

"_Just so we're clear… if you ever wake me up without bringing coffee to have a meaningful conversation… I may disown you. And…. No more Detective Beckett." She says breaking into a small grin after saying it._

The tea was still a few weeks away, and with the news of the baby, she was thinking that maybe this was all something that was going to come together. She was actually going to get that happy ending that everyone wanted in the end… the only problem was that she wanted it now. Like right now… she didn't want to wait.

"I'll be right back." She says, standing up from her spot to let Martha and Alexis step in at Castle's bedside.

When she gets into the hallway, she makes a mental list of everyone that matters and realizes how short that list is. She doesn't know how to respond to the thought in her head because while she doesn't have many friends, the ones she has matter so much to her that maybe it's worth it.

She dials the first number and a groggy Jim Beckett picks up the phone.

"Katie, what's wrong?"

"Um… nothing… well actually, Rick is in the hospital, but that's not why I'm calling."

"Rick's in the hospital? What happened?"

"He got hit by a drunk driver on the way home tonight, but he's okay… I just… Can you come down here for something?"

"I can… what do you need?"

"All I need is you." She says, which she knows will worry her father more that she should.

"I'll be right there then, which hospital?"

"Presbyterian."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"More than…" she says cryptically, hanging up the phone.

Her next call is going to be met with resistance, because it's late… or rather early depending on how you look at it, and this person doesn't like being called unless someone is dead.

"Where's the body?"

"No body."

"Katherine Beckett, you called me… God, Kate! Do you know what time it is? What the hell?"

"I need you to come down to Presbyterian hospital… Castle was in an accident, but he's okay… I just… I want you here."

"Kate are you all right?"

"I am… I uh… I just need you here for something."

"I'll get dressed and be there in a few minutes."

"Thanks Lanie."

All right, now there were just two other calls that she had to make, but she stopped for a minute to think about her decision. She knew that there was no more hesitating, but then realized that she might not have the resources to pull this off the way she imagined. Maybe she does need to talk to Castle before she does this.

"Beckett?"

"Espo?"

"Lanie just called me and told me Castle was in an accident, you okay?" he asks, coming to a near skid in front of her.

She looks around in confusion for a moment before asking, "Espo, I just got off the phone with Lanie, how the hell did you get here so fast?"

"I uh… Jenny went into labor and Kev couldn't drive himself to the hospital cause he was flipping out. We grabbed her and are waiting for the appearance of baby Ryan upstairs."

"She's having the baby?" Kate's eyes lit up at the thought and then realized that this would be a perfect day in the life of this small and awkward family group.

"She is… what's going on down here?"

"Um… well, I may need some help with this, but I uh… I have to talk to Castle first."

"Whatever you need Beckett."

"What room are you guys in upstairs?"

"I'm not in there, just sitting in the waiting room near the maternity ward… so whatever you need, let me know."

She nods, and heads off to the nurses station to ask about whether or not something was possible….

It was…


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in updating. It's been a long few weeks. But a break is going to help me figure out the end of this fic, and I've been toying with an idea for another! Oh the Casketty goodness! Review if you would like!**

**Then she gets an idea and calls in the nurse, says bring up the Chaplain,**

When she gets back to his room, Martha and Alexis had left again.

"Where did your mom and Alexis go?"

"I told them to go take a walk or something for a while. I wanted you to myself for a little while." He says, smiling as she walks to his bedside.

"Castle, I want to do something, and I don't know what you are going to say, but I want you to know that I've thought about it, and I want…" she starts, nervously holding his hand and fidgeting at the same time.

"Kate, what is it?"

"I want to get married." She says simply.

His eyes show confusion as he fingers the ring on her left hand, "Isn't that what this means?"

"No… I want to do it now. Like here, right now. We can have a big party later, but I want to marry you right now Richard Castle."

"You're sure about this?"

"I already asked the nurse if it was possible, and I called my dad, and I called Lanie, and Esposito and Ryan were already here."

"Why were they already here?"

"Apparently Jenny's in labor."

Castle's eyes go a bit wide at that, "Really!? That's so exciting!"

"So, what do you say?"

"I say push the call button." He says, placing his hand over hers.

"_What do you want, Kate?"_

"_What do you mean?" she asks, tracing patterns on his chest._

"_I mean for a wedding. That's one thing that I don't think I could predict for you… what you would like for your wedding. Big, small, princess, plain… what do you want?"_

_If she was being totally honest with herself, she had certainly thought about a wedding in her future. She never had the man in her head, but she had thought about the wedding. Always a private person, she didn't want a huge affair, but didn't want it at the courthouse either._

"_I want it to be everyone that really matters to me and no one else. No random relatives that I don't really know or people that are invited just because it's polite. I just want the people who understand me to be there, because those are the only ones who have the right to be there."_

"_So Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, the Captain, and your dad?"_

"_Yes."_

"_And Alexis and my mother for me."_

"_Castle, I know that you have obligations because of who you are. I haven't been very open to the whole 'my boyfriend' is a millionaire thing… I know that, but I know that there are going to be things that we have to do for you."_

"_Nope. When I told Paula about the engagement, I told here to keep it a secret until we are ready to let it be known publicly, and I told her that the wedding wouldn't be a publicity stunt and at most she would get a picture from the altar and one from the reception to publish for the magazines."_

_Kate's eyes go wide at this, "Castle, there's got to be more than that…"_

"_No. Kate, this is it for me and I want nothing to do with the bullshit. You know me well enough to know that I've changed… I may have looked the part of the rich and successful man who flaunts his money with girls on his arm, but that is not me. I write because I love it, and I write what I write because I love you. It isn't for the money or the fame. I don't care if five or five million people pick up my book as long as I've got you with me through all of this."_

It's within minutes that people start coming to the room. First Lanie enters with a skeptical glare between the two in the room.

"What's going on? She says you're okay, but I don't know why I'm being called down here then." Lanie asks Castle with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't worry about it Lanie, you'll find out in due time." Castle says easily.

"Can you go upstairs and get Esposito down here for a moment? I need him to do something for me… or rather see if something is possible. He's up in the maternity ward with Jenny and Kevin." Kate says, smiling at her friend.

Not even a minute after Lanie leaves Jim Beckett, Martha, and Alexis walk through the door.

"Look at the handsome devil we found roaming the hallway." Martha says with a smile.

"Dad!" Kate says, getting up from the bedside to hug her father.

"Katie, are you guys okay?"

"We are, but I just… um… I wanted… we wanted to have you all here for something, and you're going to think that we're crazy, but—"

"Miss Beckett and Mr. Castle?" an unfamiliar voice says, gracing the doorway with his presence.

The group turns to look at the man, taking in the familiar garb before Martha is the one to break the confused silence.

"You're getting married." She says simply.

"Don't be mad." Kate says, worried that the older woman was already thinking that this was a bad idea.

"Oh! Darling, I'm not mad at all. I'm surprised, in fact, that the two of you didn't ditch out and get married before now anyways. I know how private Katherine is and you've been so madly in love with her for years… I didn't think you'd be able to wait."

"Dad?"

Jim turns to his daughter with a smile on his face, "Katie, since your mother died, you have calculated every moment and step that you've taken in life. If you want to get married in this hospital right now, I know it's because you know it is right. Who am I to stand in the way of that?"

"Okay, what's with this guy?" Esposito says, stepping into the room.

"We're getting married." Castle says from the bed, which causes Esposito's mouth to drop open in surprise and the woman following quickly behind him to squeal at the thought.

"Oh my God… ooh, I mean Oh my gosh!" Lanie says, glancing quickly at the Chaplain.

"Wait, you want Ryan here, don't you? Lanie said that you needed me to do something… it was try to get him down here for a minute."

"If he can, then yes… however, I completely understand if he can't step away from Jenny." She says quickly, and then glances over to Castle, "You leave my side in the delivery room, and I'll kill you. Unless it's some kind of Alexis emergency… that's the only reason."

"Oh I'm going to be right there waiting with you guys, so don't worry."

Kate looks up and smiles at the younger girl, not noticing the others catching the exchange.

"You're talking in the future, right?" Lanie asks.

"Yeah… future… like six or seven months from now." Kate says nonchalantly.

Lanie shrugs it off before letting it actually sink in, and it is Jim Beckett that realizes what the dates imply.

"You're pregnant?" he asks her with a bit of awe and a smile on his face.

"Pregnant!" Lanie exclaims.

"Wait, what?" Esposito says, more confused at the exclamation of the medical examiner.

"While that isn't how I wanted you to find out… yeah. Castle and I are going to have a baby!"

"Well, no wonder you didn't want to wait to get hitched!" Lanie says with a smile on her face, letting Kate know that she understands there is a lot more than that behind the reason.

"Did you call the Captain?" Castle asks from the bed as Lanie envelops Kate in a crushing hug.

"Got voicemail… I left her a message with my intentions, so if she wakes up and realizes someone called, then maybe she'll be here."

After a few more minutes, Esposito walks back in after going upstairs, and he has Ryan in tow.

"How's Jenny?"

"Well, from what I'm hearing, you'll find out yourself in a few months." He says with a smile on his face and a fist bump to Castle.

"Miss Beckett, Mr. Castle, are you guys ready?" the Chaplain says.

"Oh not until I'm here, thank you very much. This man has caused me plenty of grief the past few years, so I'm going to be here for this." Gates says, entering the room and taking her place next to Ryan and Esposito as the Chaplain stands at the foot of Castle's bed.

"I'm glad that you could make it sir."

"Detective… we'll have to talk about Plausible Deniability now, but we'll save that for after the honeymoon." She replies with a smile and nods to the Chaplain.

**And he says a couple verses**

**She borrows some rings, from the couple next door,**

She and Castle ask him to just go through traditional verses and wedding vows but they come up short when he asks for the rings they would use.

"I've actually got that covered." Ryan says, slipping the ring off his finger and handing it to Kate and then holding a smaller one out to Castle. "Jenny hasn't been able to wear it for months, and she insisted that she let you borrow it for the ceremony. When you get your own, we can get ours back."

Her eyes tear up at the gesture, realizing that everyone that means anything to her in this world is standing right here… except her mom.

"_So… when do we start?" Martha says early one Saturday morning when she and Kate are sitting in the kitchen drinking their coffee._

"_When do we start what?"_

"_Now that you're back, don't you want to start wedding planning? We can go dress shopping today or tomorrow since you have the days off!" she says, and Kate's heart skips a few beats._

"_I um… I haven't really thought about it much." She says. It's an absolute lie though. It's the only thing that she can think about. The short time she spent in D.C. was enough to make her realize how much she wanted to settle down with Castle. Yes, being a cop meant a lot to her, but in D.C. that was all she had and she realized that she wanted family too._

"_You know what I've learned about you Katherine?" she asks, not really expecting an actual answer because she already had one, "When you lie, you get this little crinkle in between your eyes, almost like it is paining you to say something untrue. Now, I don't know why you're lying, but… I'm here darling… if you need me."_

_Then she dropped it, moving around the island to fix herself something to eat and talking about the latest group of students she had. That was the definition of what Kate needed… and she now understood Rick's patience with her all those years… he got it from his mother. She gave her the space to think while also providing a distraction if necessary._

"_I never thought I'd be planning a wedding without a mom… the dress shopping and everything… when I think about it, it just puts this cloud over the whole thing."_

"_Katherine…" Martha says, coming to sit next to Kate and placing a hand over hers on the counter. "I know that this must be hard. I am not going to assume that I could take your mother's place in any way, but you do have a mother in me. I'm sure Richard has told you plenty of my mothering tales that make you question my abilities, but I assure you the biggest thing that a mother needs is love. I do love you Katherine Beckett, because you make my son happy and even if she doesn't often show it, you make my granddaughter happy as well. So it might be hard at those first few stores or looking through those first few magazines, but I will help you find whatever you want and gladly do it as if you were my own flesh and blood."_

_Kate chooses to look up then, noting the tears gathering in the older woman's eyes while trying to control the ones gathering in her own._

"_Martha… I don't know what to…" she starts before getting arms wrapped around her in the most wonderful embrace she's felt in a long time. A mother's embrace…_

In that moment of remembrance, she catches Martha's eye. The older woman was reading her mind and gave her a nod and wink in response. Her mother wasn't here physically, but she was there in spirit.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Okay... all I'm saying is that when you read the chapter, don't judge the whole story until you read the next update... I've done something similar to this with another story and I thought that people were literally going to kill me... just trust me, and enjoy the drama. Review if you would like!**

**Everybody's laughing, as the tears fall on the floor,**

The Chaplain goes through the ceremony, allowing for a few moments of Castle and Beckett saying a few words to each other.

"Katherine Beckett, you are extraordinary, and I don't know what my life would be if I didn't have you. I know that we didn't get to this point easily, but I'm so glad that you didn't shoot me after the first case I shadowed you on." He says, taking her hands in his as everyone laughs at the comment, knowing that she probably could have shot him on numerous occasions. "We have been through so many things together and I know that we are just getting started with everything else, but I want you to know that I'm going to be there beside you every step of the way… always."

"_You noticed that's our thing, right?" he says one night while they were going to bed._

"_What?"_

"_It's a couply thing to have your little catch phrases with each other, and ours is always. I think that it became our way of saying I love you without actually saying it out loud when we weren't actually together."_

"_You think so?"_

"_When we were in the freezer… right before you passed out for good, you turned to me and said thank you for always being there and I told you always… I was screaming that I loved you inside of me though."_

_She looks at him for several moments, thinking about all the missed opportunities that the two of them had with each other._

"_You and I have always been able to say so much without actually saying it. We've just been so creepily in sync since the beginning. It doesn't surprise me that we are here now."_

"_Really? You saw this coming?" he says, gesturing to the two of them lying next to each other._

"_You know how everyone says that they knew? Like the person they would be with for the rest of their life, they knew it was them?"_

"_Okay?"_

"_That's you for me… I knew that you were something. I fought it tooth and nail until the end, but I knew that you would never leave me and that you would always be in my life. I was too chicken to say anything about it, or even admit it to myself, but it was there."_

"_Kate, I know that I've said this before, but I want you to know that this is so different for me. This is something that is so much more than anything that I've ever been a part of, and I know it. You are it for me."_

"_One and Done?" she asks, remembering a conversation that they had not long after they met._

"_Mine may not be one, but it's definitely done. I love you."_

"_Always?"_

"_Always."_

She's remembering this conversation as he is placing the ring on her finger, and she reflects on all the moments they've had that have led them to this one right here. For once in her life, like her father said, she was ready to dive in. She wanted every part of this life and every part of this future. She wanted the little Castle babies and the family dinners… she wanted everything that was in this room right now with all the love she could ever imagine. Admitting it to herself was the most freeing thing for her.

**She looks into his eyes and she says,**

"**I want you forever, forever and always**

**Through the good and the bad and the ugly**

**We'll grow together, and always remember whether happy or sad or whatever**

**We'll still love each other forever and always…**

**Forever and always…**

**Forever and always…"**

"Castle, it has taken us so long to get here, I agree, but I can't even imagine being anywhere but here, I want you and this life forever and always. We've been through everything together… terrible, wonderful, dangerous… now I want us to grow old and grey together and love each other just as fiercely then as we do now, no matter what else life deals us."

"I thought that I was the writer?" Castle asks as she slips the ring on his finger.

"Well, we've discussed how much I read your books throughout the years… it must have rubbed off on me." She says with a small smile.

Then the Chaplain says a few more words and Katherine Beckett becomes Katherine Castle… a decision that she made a few months previous.

"_I want to be Katherine Castle… I want to change my name… is that okay?" she asks one evening when they were curled up on the couch after a long case. It was when she was the most contemplative because her mind was no longer occupied with the details of a murder and could be free to pursue other thoughts._

"_Are you sure?" he says with a questioning glance to her and a little bit of wonder in his eyes._

"_Well, I want to remain Detective Beckett at work, but I want to change my name. I'm traditional like that."_

"_But are you really sure about that? I mean, you don't have to do it, you know… don't think that I need you to…"_

"_Rick… I thought that was something that you would love! I was excited to tell you about this." She says, sitting up to face him._

"_I am! I just… Meredith and Gina… they never even hinted at wanting my last name. Gina had joked about it, but since she was my publisher she decided that she wouldn't do it. Meredith was too into herself to even consider changing her name… even for Alexis. I didn't think that you would want it either."_

_When he says it, she can see all the hurt in his expression. They had done plenty of talking about his two failed marriages… and in her eyes, it was never him that ended things… it was always a them decision or a selfish woman that broke it off. She had plenty of thoughts about both women that she kept to herself, but she most hated what they did to him. Regardless of how many times he has told her that they are different, she thinks that he may still harbor some of the same insecurities from those times._

"_I've told you numerous times that I am a one and done kind of girl. I'm in this for good and I want everyone else to know it too."_

"_And you're totally sure about that?"_

"_Castle, in the long run when we have children or Alexis is in need of something… I want to be able to show them without a doubt that I am indeed a Castle."_

_He warms at her words, the way she says them with such certainty, "Can I still call you Beckett in bed?"_

"_You can… or you can call me Mrs. Castle…."_

"_Mrs. Castle… God that sounds so good." He says, wrapping his arms around her._

Their small group of friends laugh and smile around them, with a ring of "finally!" and a few other sentiments that hint at how long they had been waiting for the inevitable wedding of the pair.

"Kate, I love you."

"I love you too, Rick…always."

"Now lets let these two love birds have a few minutes before they have to start the rest of their lives together." Martha says from the corner of the room, waving her hands to usher everyone out of the room.

It's a few minutes later that she notices something is off…

**She finishes the vows but, the beeps are getting too slow, **

"Castle?" she asks, noticing the machine's beeping, but searching his still smiling face.

At first glance, one would think that he was a happy newlywed, but she could see that the smile was starting to not reach his eyes, and the glitter that was usually there when their eyes met was starting to fade…

"Castle… what's wrong?"

He meets her eyes again, placing a hand over hers. She catches him glance to her stomach before again meeting her eyes.

**His voice is almost too low as he says "I love you forever, forever and always, please just remember, even if I'm not there, I'll always love you forever and always."**

She starts to panic immediately when he starts to talk in a voice that was far too low for his normal jovial ways.

"Kate, you know that I love you, and I love this baby that I've never even met… and I love Alexis and mother. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. So I need you to remember that I'll always love you and be a part of you."

As he's speaking, she is pressing the button for the nurse constantly.

"Castle, you aren't going anywhere. Don't do this to me… I can't do this again!"

That's the last thing she says before his eyes close and the nurse comes running into the room.

"Miss Beckett?"

"Something's wrong… I can't… I don't know what to do… he just started to get this look, and I don't… God… please…"


	9. Epilogue

**Author's Note: Man! That last chapter through all of you into a tizzy! It was highly amusing to read the reviews, and I'm glad that you are all enjoying this! I hope you enjoy the epilogue as much... and READ TO THE END! Review if you would like!**

That night was one of the hardest nights of Katherine Castle's entire life… worse than the day she lost her mother because of all the promises she had wrapped up in that man.

Eight months later, when their daughter Hope was born, she was sitting in that same hospital, thinking about what could have been while staring at the little baby girl in the bassinet at the foot of her bed.

"Mom?" she hears, coming from her bedside. She hadn't realized that Alexis had even entered the room, and her smile brightens at her use of the term. It came out one day when Kate had been admitted into the hospital a few months into her pregnancy.

"_Where is she?" she hears screaming from outside her door._

"_I'm sorry ma'am, but you have to calm down."_

"_Seriously… I get a call saying that she passed out at work and you're telling me to calm down."_

"_I'm sorry ma'am, but who are you?"_

"_Alexis Castle! My… ugh… My… mother… is sitting in some hospital bed probably scared out of her mind and you people aren't going to let me see her?"_

"_You said Castle?"_

"_Yes, Katherine Castle. She was brought in about a half hour ago."_

"_And you're her daughter?"_

_Kate hears the hesitation, but Alexis doesn't deny it. "Yes… and I want to see her."_

_At that moment, Kate can't help but press the call button… wanting to stop the craziness outside her room, and honestly needing Alexis as much as Alexis wanted to see her._

_Another nurse floats into the room and Kate gestures to the door, "I'm sure that you've heard the redhead out there screaming. It's my daughter… can you let her in?"_

_The nurse walks out of the room and over to the nurses' station, just as Alexis is screaming again, "I want to see my mom… what is that going to take from you people?"_

"_Excuse me, Miss Lange… Mrs. Castle is in her room asking to see her daughter. She thought she would speed this process along." The other nurse says, looking at Alexis and smiling._

"_She could hear me?" Alexis said, a blush creeping over her face._

_The nurse nods and guides her over to the room._

"_Hey Alexis… I hear that you're causing a bit of a scene… not unlike your father would."_

"_Well if dad could be here, I'm sure he would have done the same."_

"_I'm sure he would…"_

_Alexis sits down next to the woman that has become so much to her in the past year and grabs hold of Kate's hand._

"_Is the baby okay?"_

"She_ is fine."_

"_She?!"_

_Kate nods with a glint of tears in her eyes and a smile on her face._

"_A baby girl… that's exciting."_

"_Well, I think that I can certainly handle another daughter…" Kate says, looking down and smoothing the blankets over her growing stomach._

"_Kate… I ummm… I'm sorry if what I said out there made you uncomfortable. We haven't even talked about all of this and I don't want you to think that I'm forcing you into—"_

"_Into what exactly? Into loving you? Into feeling protective of you? Into worrying about you like I know I will with this little one? Alexis, you are my daughter… it's as simple as that. And I can be whatever you need me to be. I told you that once before and I'm not going back on that."_

"_Even if that is a mother?"_

"_After all that the two of us have been through the past few months, I wouldn't think twice about our growing relationship."_

"_Kate, I do love you, and I do think of you as a mother… and I don't know where I would have been without you these past few months."_

"_Lex, I don't know where me or this baby would be without you either."_

"You come to meet your baby sister?"

"I did. I heard that she arrived a few hours ago. I came as fast as I could after Lanie called."

"You can't help an internship in another state, Lex. I'm so proud of what you are doing."

"You are?"

"Yep, and your sister is going to look up to you so much."

"Has she been sleeping this whole time?"

"On and off… same as someone else." Kate gestures with a cock of her head off to the right.

"I don't think that can be helped." Alexis says, with a smile.

"You know… I can hear you people talking about me." A voice says from the chair in the corner of the room.

"You ready to join us again?"

"I never left." He says, and it causes her heart to skip a beat.

He did leave them for a while. Apparently they had missed something in the first surgery and as the night had worn on after his accident, a small tear caused more internal bleeding. They had to do another emergency surgery, but this caused too much damage and forced the doctors to put him into a coma. He was in the coma for four months healing before he woke up to a smiling Kate sporting a round baby belly that his eyes were glued to from the moment he woke up. After several months he was still easily fatigued, but he was quickly recovering to be the Castle that he was before the accident.

"Can I hold her, or should I just leave her sleeping?" Alexis asks shyly, looking towards the bassinet.

"Actually, I think she is due for another feeding really soon, so I think that waking up in her big sister's arms will be perfect." Kate says, smiling at the older girl.

The two watch as Alexis gently picks up the newest addition to the Castle family.

"Hope Johanna Castle… I will love you forever and always, just like our mom and dad love each other the same. Through the hard times and the good times, I'll be right there, even if mom or dad can't be there. You have no idea how lucky we are." They hear Alexis whisper in the sleeping infant's ear.

"What do you say, Kate… you want another one?" Castle says with a smile on his face.

"Let me get through the toddler stage with this one and you're on…" she says with an equally expressive smile on her face.

Always.


End file.
